oh, why is life so complicated? no, wait let me rephrase that. why is MY life so complicated?
"Aku percaya Allah bagi aku semua dugaan ini untuk aku mendekatkan diri pada-Nya"
Let me start off about how my whole life starts to change, is when my family first found out that my dad had been diagnosed with lung cancer, stage 4. when that happened, the whole world starts crumbling down. life seems empty, and all i could feel is sorrow.
My dad, who I mostly rely, depend, and feel the sense of security from, has his life risks with cancer. When we first heard that he was suspected with the "killer cells", the whole family did nothing but cry. tears were endless, and it even saddened me when my dad said "Nangis la puas2, lepas ni you have to be strong"
Oh dad, how can I be strong? I'm not like you! You never once complained bout your braggy children, you never once hesitated to give a helping hand, or to be there when we need you. you never once failed to fulfill our needs for as long as you can give. you never even once make us feel absence of your presence. your always there, like you know you should.
But once again, my dad has proved me wrong. I am strong. In fact, after what happened, I think I have become a stronger person. there's always a reason and a blessing in disguise for whatever tests Allah has given.
1. Our family ties become stronger
2. I may be forgetful of Him, and He wants to bring me back to the right path
3. I may done so many sins, and this could be my punishment
4. I need to slowly become more independent and start realizing that I can't live with my parents forever
And true enough, slowly I was able to embrace this test with open heart, and of course with strong and loving support from relatives and friends. And this is also the time where you realized you have so many true friends who are there for you, through thick and thin. Oh, how I am blessed :)
Papa, there must be a reason behind everything that is bestowed upon you. I believe Allah only given this test to those He believes could embrace it with patience, preserverance and strong faith. He wants you to get closer to Him, to praise Him, to remember Him, and to always be with Him for every second of the day. And I know InsyaAllah, with Allah's blessings, He will help you to recover soon as He will never give up on those who never give up on Him :)
Amin.
I believe, this is a Karma too on my side. I know that I deserved this punishment. I accept it with open heart. He wants me to show me how it feels like to have your close family fall sick, and to be left by your other loved ones at the same time. Really, really karma.
